Tuesdays with Paulie 4/24/07

Sheryl Crow and the ass-wipe police
Singer wants to restrict toilet paper use

My jaw dropped Monday when I read this story from the far-left BBC. Singer/Environmentalist Sheryl Crow wants to set toilet paper restrictions to help the environment. She suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". She posted these comments on her website.

I can only speak for myself, but when I move my bowels, one sheet ain't going to cut it. Some times half a roll won't do it. My recently toilet trained 4 year old needs more than a sheet to properly clean his tuchas. Maybe when your wealthy and you have a super-charged Bede, which results can be compared to running your ass through a car wash, you only need a square or two. However, most people need an extra wipe to be clean and not offend to their peers with the odor stemming from their behind region.

Crow and her friends such as "Inconvenient Truth" producer Laurie David as well as Al Gore have become horrible ambassadors for the Global Warming cause. The reality of any political or social cause is that the messenger is often more important than the message. Of all the science that I have read, I lean toward the belief that Global warming exists to an extent, but mankind is not the cause. However I don't rule out completely man's impact on our climate. Regardless of right or wrong, Crow and her friends are agenda driven whores who are more interested in their own status within the movement as well as promoting their hatred of President Bush.

Ms. Crow should stick to making music and continue doing her noble work as a Breast cancer survivor. As far as telling people how much Charmin they should use, she should be more concerned about the Carbon footprint she leaves when she tours with three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars. Between her tour vehicles, private jets and Al Gore's home, it's a miracle any of us can still breathe.

Speaking of an inconvenient truth
By now you probably heard about Sheryl Crow and Laurie David meeting Karl Rove at the White House correspondents dinner. Crow and David wrote a blog in the Huffington Post in which they said Rove was "combative" and overall was very rude toward them. However, National Review contributor Byron York spoke with an eyewitness of the exchange and to my dismay (sarcasm) the elitist femininazis apparently were the "confrontational" ones, not the Deputy Chief of Staff for the White House.

Read for yourself the above links and decide who you think is telling the truth. As for your brilliant blogger, I met Karl Rove last week at the White House (blatant name dropping) and he was very friendly and even took the time to speak with my young children. Granted, I'm not an annoying environmentalist or a liberal elitist who wants to regulate toilet paper usage, so maybe they just pushed the wrong buttons, while he enjoyed speaking to myself and my beautiful wife and children.

Alec Baldwin threatens daughter?

I believe that the "access of evil" exists not only across the oceans, but in Hollywood as well. Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda, Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin are all major players in this internal evil that exists within our own borders. Obviously your brilliant blogger is not a fan of Mr. Baldwin, despite the fact that the Hunt for Red October is one of the greatest films ever.

However, when news surfaced that Baldwin left a message for his "11 or 12" year old daughter that can be construed as mean and threatening, I realized something immediately...why is this news? What business is this of mine or anybody?

To all the news channel personalities and radio talk-show hosts who think this deserves our attention...get a life. Every parent has their moments when they loose their temper and say things they regret. What matters is how you make those few bad moments right again.

Unless you are part of the Baldwin family past or present, you have no idea what kind of a father he is. If he is an abusive parent, then it becomes the business of local law enforcement. Other than that, it's between Baldwin his kid and the mother. Everyone else just shut up!

This story about a British man who cut off his penis in a London restaurant is more newsworthy.

Paulie